When we contemplate our sins and failings, we may struggle to believe that we are really forgiven, redeemed, and washed clean. But we are not alone in the struggle.

My wife and I recently took a vacation back to my hometown of Adelaide, Australia. It had been a couple of years since I had been home and, although I lived there for a brief period as a Christian, the majority of the time I spent living there as a young man had been as a non-Christian.

My wife, who is American, had never been to my hometown. I got to play tour guide, showing her where I grew up, where I went to school, places I played sports, and places where I hung out before I became a Christian. We drove past places from my life where I was once consumed with sin—places where I had committed many sins.

Pastors and leaders are by no means immune from the taunts of the Enemy.

1. Satan uses the sins of our youth to attack us

I am now, by God’s grace, a pastor and a husband who has been redeemed from the sin I was enslaved to. Christ is victorious in my life and continues to put to death the sin that exists in me. But when I visited these places—the places where I had so grievously sinned against Jesus and had rebelled against my Creator—I felt a battle taking place. I struggled to believe that I really was forgiven, redeemed, and washed clean from the sins that had once so consumed my life.

2. Satan uses the sins of our youth to cause us to doubt Jesus’ forgiveness

Satan wished to condemn me for the sins of my youth. I heard the old familiar sinister whisper in my ears telling me I was living a lie, that I was still enslaved to my sin, and the old favorite: could God really forgive me for what I have done? I know many of us hear these whispers almost daily, and pastors and leaders are by no means immune from the taunts of the Enemy.

3. Jesus forgives the sins of our youth and fires us up for ministry

I was in the middle of a battle. The whispers in my ear led me to despair, but the Holy Spirit set my heart ablaze. God the Holy Spirit warmed me and bid me to trust in the Lord, whose faithfulness is not based on my past, present, or future failures or successes, but is dependent on the completed work of Jesus Christ on my behalf.

What wonderful comfort and joy it brought me in the battle, and how Satan fled when I remembered the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I can be no more accepted, loved, or adopted than I already am in Jesus.

When Satan tempts you to despair, you don’t have to fight the battle on your own.

Through Jesus, God answers the prayer of Psalm 25:7: “Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!”

You are not alone

So Christian, when Satan tempts you to despair, you don’t have to fight the battle on your own. Jesus fought Satan, sin, and death—and he defeated them. Remember the gospel: you have been freed from the condemnation that your sin brings through the blood of Jesus.

Through the internal battle, I was able to go from sorrow to joy. I do not rejoice in my sin and the rebellion of my youth, but rather that God the Father has forgiven me from all of my folly, according to his steadfast love, through the work of Jesus. He has forgiven me, freed me, and adopted me into the family of God.

I can be no more accepted, loved, or adopted than I already am in Jesus.

Jesus went through all of the temptation that I did, and he was faithful to resist where I was not. Through his sacrificial death on the cross for my sin, he imparts his righteousness to me, filling me with the Holy Spirit so I can become like him as my sin gets put to death.

Is the Enemy whispering in your ear, inviting you to believe a lie and despair of your own efforts? Remember the sure hope you have in Jesus. Your righteousness is not based on your works, but in the mighty works of Jesus on your behalf.

As I was battling through this, my wife remained a constant reminder of God’s grace to me. With her by my side I was constantly reminded of all that God had blessed me with and how there is no way he holds any of my sin against me.